Tuesday, September 27, 2016

#DebateNight -- Back To Zero

Spin, Beltway monkeys!

Spin, spin, spin!

#DebateNight: The Toreador

Some of my tweets from debate night, which I delivered to you the consumer until it became such a comprehensive beat-down that I had to just sit back and marvel:
Check, check.  Mike check.  "Forget it Jake, it's...Chinatown". Check, check.

Too many "H"-sounds in your first sentence, Holt.  Watch it!

Hillary sneezing into her hand before shaking was a nice touch

Hillary Clinton talks Sensible Policy.  OMG, this is the most boringest debate ever!

Donald Trump:  China.  Mexico.  Winning fight.  So many of them.  I have a friend.  He has a plant and is taking Ford with him.

 Donald Trump:  They're stealing our jobzes!  I'm going to cut taxes like mad.

Hillary Clinton:  I believe in helping the middle class.

Donald Trump has the sniffles.  Bad. Like glue-sniffing bad. Uh oh.

Hillary busts out The Maths.  No fair!

Donald Trump: Solar power is a disaster.  The Sun is a lie!  Coal, bitches!  Coal and whale oil!

Hillary drops the "F"-bomb.  "Facts".  How dare she.

Donald Trump: Hillary's tax program gives ISIS all our secret plans!  She has been supporting ISIS her whole life.

Trump:  Nobody ever learned nuttin' from tax returns.  Many friends of mine say so.  Many.  Tremendous.  Friends.

Tax returns, schmax returns!  You tell 'em Donald!  -- Al Capone

Trump: We need law and order.  I love Charlotte.  I have a lot of money there. Also that other city where that other thing happened.

Trump: Gangs of roving bands of armed immigrants.  Cops are refusing to enforce the law.  Cats and dogs living together!

Trump: In Chicago, Barack Obama is stalking the streets.  With Hispanics.  And I have a lot of money there!

That thing on Donald Trump's head looks unhappy.  Very unhappy.  Wants out of there.  Now.  Big time.

 Donald Trump rode this racist birther pony all the way to this stage tonight & now he wants to shoot it & move on.  Hey, fuck you, scumbag

How big a racist meathead do you have to be to looking at this lying lunatic and say "Yeah!  This guy!"

Trump: Curtis LeMay loves me.  Loves.  Me.

Trump: My son loves his computers.  What with the internet and the cybers and such.

Trump: ISIS uses the internet.  Damn you, Obama!!!!!!!

"Take the oil."  This shit again?  Really?

Finally someone mentions the Bush Admin SOFA that set the rules for withdrawing troops from Iraq.

Trump: For fuck's sake why won't anyone call Trusted Newsman Sean Hannity.  He was there.  He helped me bury that hooker!!!

Donald Trump just said that blowing an Iranian ship out of the water in a fit of pique wouldn't start a war.  Jesus.

Trump:  I was almost a giant asshole.  Almost.  But I decided not to.  Because I am a great man.  Possibly the greatest.

If you were taking a shot every time this lying POS bracketed his lies with "Believe me" you'd h/b dead an hour ago.

Trump kept showering himself in napalm.  Hillary kept handing him matches.

The media lowered the bar into the dirt for Trump and he still garroted himself on it and burst into flames.

Random typing chimp nearly generates single coherent sentence.  Media swoons.

Over in Fox, Howard Kurtz's verdict was that Trump went "90 minutes without any major gaffes".   Mistah Kurtz knows damn well who signs his checks.

Soon-to-be indicted human compost heap Chris Christie is spinning for Trump on MSNBC.  Because apparently there are no other humans left on Earth to talk to.

Trump won't lose any votes because Trump voters are infinitely reprogrammable meatheads.

Time to shift the discussion to the fundamental incompetence of the Trump voter to participate in our democracy.

Trump:  Lester, I'm gonna use one of my lifelines and call Sean Hannity.

It is long past time to shift the discussion to the fundamental incompetence of the Trump voter to participate in our democracy.

So with NATO, suddenly Don the Con gets fussy about people honoring their contracts.

Waiting for the Hugh Hewitt spin on the Trump sharting himself to death in from of 100 million people.

If you were taking a shot every time this lying POS bracketed his lies with "Believe me" you'd have been dead an hour ago.

Trump die-hard on MSNBC typical of the breed -- just repeating "Benghazi!" because that's how these racist morons live with themselves.

Has anyone ever completely immolated himself in front of more people than Donald Trump is doing right now?  #askingforafriend

A merciful referee would have stopped this after the third round.

Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Hugh Hewitt:

Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Chuck Todd:

Monday, September 26, 2016

#DebateNight: We're Are, By God, Gonna Have This Fucking Narrative People!

In other words, batshit glue-sniffing chimp nearly random-types a single coherent sentence.

Media swoons.

One more reason why Liberals are never, ever allowed within "Are you fucking kidding me!" distance of the lords and ladies of the Beltway.

#DebateNight -- The New Journalism

At The Presidential #DebateNight

I was wondering what graphic would be best suited for tonight's nadir of modern democracy.

And then Alert Reader "t.s." sent this along and I wondered no more.

Our National Conversation About Race Has Finally Arrived

Just not the way we wanted or hoped for.  Because instead of a high-minded exchange about history, economic, public policy and culture, out NCAR has arrived as a zombie horde of raving, "post truth" Trumpshirts who are openly bigoted, immune to reason and damn proud of it.  

The boundaries of our NCAR are a little ragged and, since this is the United States of Loud Opinions, any conversation about anything will inevitably be alloyed with a hundred other issues.  But for the first time since the 1860s and the 1960s, we are squared off into two, clearly defined, irreconcilable and diametrically-opposed camps: Conservative bigots, morons (and the exploiters of bigots and morons) marching under the banner of a florescent orange liar and con man...

...and everybody else.

There is no Sensible Center here anymore -- no "Both Sides".  

There is no longer any meaningful category of "American people" except geographically.  As I wrote ten long years ago:

No “We” in America – Part I

For a long time now, the casual invocation of the term “the American people” when explaining what we as a nation do or do not believe, or will or won’t stand for -- especially by the Right, but also by the Left -- has been pissing me right off.

Because at the moment, there is no more “We” in this country.

It breaks my heart but I believe the strategic and relentless poisoning of the public well by the likes of Republican Lee Atwater, Republican Newt Gingrich, Republican Rush Limbaugh and Republican Karl Rove has done its work. And other that geographical, there are no more categories in this country to which we can apply the term "Americans" any longer...
Once the rage-drunk bigots and imbeciles and their collaborators in the media are defeated yet again by the rest of us, maybe we'll get back to having intelligent debates over other important matters, but  I doubt it.  I doubt that anything short of a comprehensive rollback of anything that remotely smacks of "Republican" will give us back our national adulthood and equilibrium and get us back to having grown-up arguments over reasonable marginal tax rates, structural racism, expanding national health care, demilitarizing our cops, disentangling ourselves from ill-advised alliances an commitments around the world, global climate change, and so forth.

And I would love that.

I would love it if I could box this blog up and get back to meaningful public policy debates without being smothered under the dead weight of 30 million screeching Republican idiots being whipped into targetable mobs by domestic enemies like Fox News, Hate Radio and The Breitbart Collective.

But we're not there.  Not by a damn site.

Right now we're just barely holding Little Round Top by our nails.

Right now we're marching towards the Edmund Pettus Bridge.

And you cannot, cannot, cannot be on both sides of that conflict.

Sunday Morning Comin' Down

Norris: Are you attempting to tell me my duties, sir?

Philip Marlowe: No, just having fun trying to guess what they are.

-- The Big Sleep, 1946

I don't know what Hugh Hewitt's duties are, but I do know they don't come within a city block of any definition of "journalism" that would stand up in court.

Here is Comcast employee and Trump myrmidon, Hugh Hewitt expressing his horror at the thought of someone fact-checking Donald Trump because something something Hillary Clinton wouldn't like it very much if Lester Holt called her a liar too, now would she, hmm??

Because "facts" in the Hughniverse (yes, that's a real thing) are "subjective things" once again proving that the sentient roaches of the 28th Century who programmed Hugh Hewitt and sent him back to destroy America do not have a firm grasp of the meaning of English words.

He then goes on to actually cite Cardinal Ross "Chunky Bobo" Douthat (stop laughing!) who spent his 800 contractually obligated New York Time's words this week inveighing against oppressive Leftism and Samantha Bee and whateverthefuck, once again proving that, Jesus Christ of Sunnybrook Farm, Conservatism literally cannot beg, borrow or buy a decent brain for all the money in the Fox News sexual harassment settlement war chest:

Later on the Hugh Hewitt channel, Hugh Hewitt stopped by (what are the odds!?!) to stink up Joy Ann Reid's little corner of human decency.  There was the name-checking of Benghazi (in his telling, Secretary Clinton "fled" the State Department because Benghazi), fretting about the "hard Left" Supreme Court that would last 1,000 years under a Clinton dictatorship, and a Dire Warning that Iran already has Hillary Clinton's number ... because they have copies of her emails ... because some caller on his radio show told him so.

In fact, the answer to every single question about Donald Trump's lying and belligerent idiocy was a robotic "But Hillary Clinton..." because as we have already established with expert testimony, Hugh Hewitt is an android sent from the future to destroy America:

Finally, on the Hugh Hewitt channel's Very Special Episode of "Meet the Android Sent From the Future to Destroy America", when Hugh Hewitt is asked the following, very straightforward question by Mr. Chuck Todd:
CHUCK TODD:  Yeah, his transparency issue though, Hugh, you can see the Charlotte police chief has been grappling with this. On one hand the investigation, but they didn't release the full video and so it didn't erase the skepticism.
What we get by way of a response is another long, rambling, discursive "But Hillary Clinton..." answer that -- Jesus Christ and the Velveteen Rabbit! -- once again trots out Ross Douthat's NYT droppings about the suffocating Leftism of Samantha Bee or whatever --
HUGH HEWITT: No and it won't be gone for a long time. I think it's unfortunate that we're not spending more time on the first lady embracing the former President yesterday and we are spending more time on transparency as we have to. I think that for many in the country that's all one event. Charlotte, Tulsa and the presidential race and the national anthem are all one event. But for a lot of the country the national anthem is a different event. And I would recommend Ross Douthat's column this week: Hillary Clinton's Samantha Bee problem. A lot of people are feeling suffocated by the cultural left and they don't associate it with race, they associate it with being overwhelmed by change. And I think it's the most important column that's been written this week.
-- as if it were the most insightful flare set off against the dark night of the human condition since William Faulkner's 1950 Nobel Prize acceptance speech:
Our tragedy today is a general and universal physical fear so long sustained by now that we can even bear it. There are no longer problems of the spirit. There is only the question: When will I be blown up? Because of this, the young man or woman writing today has forgotten the problems of the human heart in conflict with itself which alone can make good writing because only that is worth writing about, worth the agony and the sweat.
I have no idea what Hugh Hewitt's duties actually are.  Nor do I know the duties of the men who hire such reeking frauds as Hugh Hewitt and prop them up on teevee over and over again trying to pass them of as credible.  But I do know those duties don't come within a country mile of any definitions of "honorable", "decent" or "patriotic" that can stand up to the withering and righteous judgement of history.  

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Friday, September 23, 2016

Arise You Prisoners of PlayStation


Why is this election so close?

I'm glad you asked!

Because it turns out that America's most recent, self-anointed Hero of the Work Man -- Mr. David Brooks, Sage of the Acela Corridor -- also just happens to be America's most recent, self-anointed Speaker For Millennials.

So how lucky are we!

I mean, imagine the astronomical odds against the New York Times managing to find someone who has worked his entire adult life to claw his way into a tiny, privileged, white, Republican bubble of senators and presidents and CEOs ... and then discovering at this late date that he is also somehow America's Greatest Expert on the innermost dreads of America's working class and the secret hopes and fears of America's youth.

And yet in the person of Mr. David Brooks -- who trails behind him a long and disastrous record of being spectacularly wrong about nearly everything about --  the New York Times would have us believe that Mr. David Brooks contains such legions and is willing to share the pungent, distilled wisdom of his many years squeegeeing the sweat off of Arthur Ochs Sulzberger, Jr.'s balls tilling the soil, bringing larnin' to the unlettered and standing up for labor in its darkest hours:

And if you can't trust the New York Time when then, by-god, what have we become as a nation, especially when it comes so highly recommended!

Yes, by once again carefully averting his eyes from the true nature of his Republican Party as it actually exists in the real world, Mr. David Brooks of the New York Times has found yet another way to recycle the same comforting, watery poo he has been selling to New York plutocrats for years:
Tyler Cowen recently gathered some of the more interesting theories on his blog Marginal Revolution: America is not ready for a woman president. The Democrats have a lot of policy proposals, but the Republicans are running on big ideas. A more diverse country is a more fractious and polarized country, and over the past few weeks white Republicans have been coming home to their candidate.

I see some truth in those theories, especially the last one. But my single explanation would be this: Clintonworld is a semi-closed system that operates according to its own calendar. Donald Trump is egregious, but at least he’s living in the 21st century, as was Bernie Sanders. Clintonworld operates according to its own time-space continuum that is slightly akilter from our own...
Yes, it's definitely not because the Republican Party is full of bigots, but rather...
In the 21st century, politics operates around a different axis. It’s not left/right, big government/small government. It’s openness and dynamism versus closedness and security...
Yes, because we would absolutely not want to look too closely at that whole "left/right" thingie and figure out if maybe one side of that political couplet might be horribly fucked up and full of awful people who believe crazy things.  So instead...
In the 21st century, the parties are amassing different coalitions. People are dividing along human capital lines...
And sadly, "Clintonworld" is outta touch and outta time...
Clintonworld is a decades-old interlocking network of donors and friends that hasn’t quite caught up to these fundamental shifts. That’s because Clintonworld, in the Hillary iteration, is often defensive, distrusting and oriented around avoiding errors...
Even her money people and supporters reek of mothballs and knee-braces and Carter's Little Liver Pills!
Her donor base and fund-raising style is out of another era. Obama and Sanders tapped into the energized populist base, but Clinton has Barbra Streisand, Cher and a cast of Wall Street plutocrats. 
Except, of course, none of that is exactly true.

Yes, Clinton does have a lot of the traditional party power-brokers behind her, because that's what political parties are for you idiot!  But apparently Mr. Brooks has not noticed that trend-setting populist heroes of his New Populist America -- President Obama and Senator Sanders -- are both energetically campaigning for Hillary Clinton.  Apparently Mr. Brooks has also not noticed how smartly and aggressively Secretary Clinton's team has been reaching out to young people -- to young women especially.   Apparently the imaginary hipster bar where Mr. Brooks has been rapping with Today's Youth about Hillary lacks both teevee and wifi so he could not see ads like which show the doddering Clintonworld geezers who are lining up to support Hillary Clinton:

Apparently Mr. David Brooks has also failed to notice that Donald Trump's "energizes" his bigot base by heaving great big slabs of rancid hate-meat to them -- telling them monstrous lies and making ludicrous promises about which they are too stupid or berserk to care either way.

And this is the most deeply troubling part of all, because Mr David Brooks -- who studied history as a young man -- must recognize the ancient and terrible forces which his Republican Party has been cultivating for decades.  But apparently the everyday, horrid realities of his Republican Party are not in his department -- as they rumble past his Quiet Car on the Acela Corridor packed tight with the groaning remains of our democracy, they're just another long string of cattle cars off to somewhere unspeakable, and Mr. Brooks is simply not at all interested in questions about who laid those tracks, who is driving that train and what awaits its passengers at the end of the line,

Mr. David Brooks works very, very hard every day not to think about such things, preferring instead to bring his beautiful mind to bear on thoughts like these:
Her campaign proposals sidestep the cutting issues that have driven Trump, Sanders, Brexit and the other key movements of modern politics. Her ideas for reducing poverty are fine, but they are circa Ed Muskie: more public works jobs, housing tax credits, more money for Head Start...
And best of all. this:
Don’t get me wrong. I still think she’ll eke out a win. I just hope her administration is less fogyish than her campaign.
Yes citizens, this was the day when Mr. David Brooks -- America's Most Respected Concatenation of Ear Wax, Cobwebs and Moldering Clippings of David Broder Columns from the Bloomington, Illinois Pantagraph -- called someone else "fogyish".  Mark this day down; you'll want to tell your grand-kids where you were when it happened.

Meanwhile, the usually reticent Sam Stein had finally had enough and busted out on Morning Joe with the Big, Scary Truth that Mr. David Brooks of the New York Times has devoted his life to not mentioning (from Blue Gal at Crooks & Liars):

And Sam Stein makes a distinction then between a real estate agent from Ohio and a US Congressman. But then he says this:
"This all goes into a bigger conversation about ...you know, we were talking about deplorables a couple of weeks ago, right? And clearly Clinton erred in saying the fifty percent and the irredeemable part. But there is racism in this country, that people are not exactly confronting, that has been brought up a bit more to the surface by this campaign, and the candidacy in specific. And you know, we're not really talking about it in a confrontational way, in a direct way, that we should, because we're too nervous to tip-toe around the term 'deplorable,' but that's there."
And then Elise Jordan flips it to a completely unrelated, though important, issue.
"Well, just the empowerment of the alt-right in the Republican Party this election season. The lunatics are running the asylum. This is unacceptable, everyone in the Republican Party needs to say this is unacceptable, This is not my party, I cannot be a part of this party, if this is the party we have become. It is absolutely reprehensible and against everything the Republican Party can and should stand for."
Someone should warn Sam Stein that he is never gonna score that Big Job at the New York Times
squeegeeing the sweat off of Arthur Ochs Sulzberger, Jr.'s balls tilling the soil, bringing larnin' to the unlettered and standing up for labor in its darkest hours with an attitude like that.

Professional Left Podcast #355

"It's a sin in politics to land a soft punch."
--   Alf Landon